Never Take Another Puff

This is my confession. I admit that I've tried smoking on different occasions when I was in school. But I could count on how many I took then. I really became addicted when I was 18 years old. I remembered it started since I started college.

I couldn't remember exactly why I started to smoke cigarettes. Was it because I wanted to be on par with my friends? Was it because of curiosity? Was it because I just wanted to look cool? Was is because I want to be rebellious? It may be one of 'em and It also can be for all of the reasons combine. Maybe its for all the reasons.

Anyway I look at it, I find it silly now, how naive I was, how stupid I was on starting. Because like everything else, my perceptions and views of matters around me has changed.

It's not cool anymore. It's not even fun anymore.

So now I'm 24 years old. This year I have been trying to stop a couple of times. But during this Ramadhan, it seems easier. Plus with endless support from the love of my life, Ayu Hasida. The most amazing woman I've ever met in my life. You are my savior baby. I don't know what to do without you. And also with the support from my family and friends. Thanks guys.

To this day, it has been 4 days since I last smoke. It just makes me smile to  have freed myself from that dreadful cigs.

I know that 4 days is too soon to say that I've quit. But it's a good start. In my mind, I draw a mental goal to achieve and with dialogues to motivate myself to get it thru the day. The goal is simple - "Don't smoke today" and with all the things to keep me motivated... "Never take another puff" no matter how bad the day is. "Never take a puff" no matter how bad the urges are asking for it. "Never take a puff" because all I'll do is killing myself."Never take a puff" after a meal. "Never take a puff" because my love ones are the most precious to me. "Never take a puff" because I want to and I always get what I want. Never take another puff.

I tell my fiancee about my progress everyday and my family for support. Told my friends about it hoping that my ego will boost me more in quitting smoke. Last night while hanging around with them at the mamak stall, they were all smoking yet I didn't even want to. I was tempted yes, but my determination is far more greater.

So today is the 5th day of my smoking cessation. Of me quitting smoke. I still have these urges of smoking every time after I eat but it will only last for 5 minutes. I know there's a lot of work involve. Changing my habits. Changing my mindset. Changing everything I do and think that triggers me smoking. But I'm truly determine to end this. To end my smoking addiction for good...forever.

May God Almighty provide me strength.

Comments

[aDaM]

you're not cool anymore...patutlaa gemok macam aku!!!!brenti jugak....ingatkan jadi gemok sbb bahagia dgn bini yg ayu bernama ayu...hahaha